After a recent series of suicidal cases, I thought it is important to talk about the subject. Some of you who may be reading this blog might be thinking about it or have thought about it, or maybe attempted to take your precious life once. It is necessary to talk to someone if you feel suicidal, I agree it is never an easy subject to bring up but it is important to let out what you feel. I have heard people saying that I want to end up my life and talk to me about it. When I hear them, I feel this is not even a reason to take such a decision. But the problem is no one is ready to listen to them nor they are open to talk about it. There are people who tend to hang themselves or cut their wrist, over dosage of drugs to end their life, and many other ways to end up living.

But have you ever thought why do they have suicidal thoughts and why is it that you haven’t been able to see the changes in them, the way they think, the way they isolate themselves? Why is it that you never talk to your loved ones who feel depressed or that you have never been able to notice them going deep down. Talking to someone about suicidal thoughts is upsetting especially if the conversation involves a family member or a friend. What you say and how you listen or react makes a significant difference in changing their mind towards wellbeing. Your aim is to help that person suffering from severe depression and is thinking about ending his/her life, and in that, you should be very careful of what you say so that they can feel safe and secure.

How to talk with a suicidal person?

You may be thinking about how to start a conversation with someone who is in depression and their thoughts are only about suicide. It is not that if you ask someone if they are feeling suicidal they will definitely want to take their life. In fact, asking someone would make them feel that someone is genuinely concerned and they might open up to you and share their pain. At that time all you need to do is listen without judging. You may ask someone “I have been worried about you of late as I see something is affecting you, can we talk about this?” Let the other person feel that you care and that you have noticed a changed behavior in them. It is very important to keep your questions direct, and honest and also during the conversation avoid changing the topic or do not get distracted otherwise they would feel ignored again. Make sure when you are talking to the person especially when they are your close ones, you control your feelings, responses, and actions.

You may feel disappointment, or put down with the words you hear from that person but resist the urge to get angry or emotional and tell them how to fix the situation. The thoughts you hear from the suicidal person might include shock, anger, guilt, or denial, you may feel very bad of not knowing what was going on in his mind all this while that led him into depression and ultimately the thoughts of suicide. However, you need to stay calm, non- judgmental towards him. Keep in mind that you are not an expert in suicide prevention and mental health, therefore you just need to stay with that person and make them feel safe, assist them to a counselor who can help them come out of such thoughts.

Negative life events that may be linked to suicidal thoughts

There are many events in life that can make you and break you. A thin line decides which way your mind leads you. People who contemplate suicide go through a lot of emotional pain and stress due to which they may view suicide as a way to escape from the pain. A number of experiences and circumstances in life occur where you may feel joy or pain where someone makes you happy or some might break your heart. These situations do not decide your worth in life, your life itself is precious to many people. Few negative events should not trigger suicidal behavior. Social isolation, bullying, legal action, financial crises, drug addiction, homelessness, relationship break-down, emotional or physical abuse, or loved one’s death any of these can trigger suicidal thoughts. Their thoughts over all these experiences become overwhelming for them. They have no control over their thoughts then and that can become dangerous.

Suicide is said to be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Sharing what you feel with someone and venting out your pain is better to eliminate yourself from such thoughts. It is easy to end life but that is not the solution to your existing problem. Suicidal people should understand that God has given you a life to serve a purpose, not to run away from the situations and destroy yourself leaving your family in shock and guilt for life.

PS: Do not convert your pain into depression and then death, live every second as it is your new life.