What is anger?

Anger is one of the human emotions within us, a reaction to other people’s actions. It indeed spreads faster than the fire. Emotions are good but not when it fails to control you and destroy your inner peace. What is the need for anger? Are you angry with someone who has ill-treated you or do you even know the root cause of anger? It is nothing but “EGO”, your ego which makes you agitated for no reason. Anger triggers the fight, and what do you get out of the fight? Nothing but your ego must have been satisfied and you lose a relation. It triggers every part of your body and destroys you from within. Starting from your brain cells, your heart rate increases, blood pressure, and stress levels.

Understand your anger

Anger is definitely not good. You need to remind this to yourself every day. Still, when things anger arises, we need to learn how to manage and control ourselves in order to create a peaceful environment. There has always been a reflex action when you get angry. What is the main reason behind it? Is it the person who said something against your will or something went wrong at the workplace, your child was misbehaving, you scored less in your exams even after you tried your best, you have marital issues with your partner or anything that is against what you want is the ultimate reason of your anger. Is it necessary that things should work according to your wish and will only? What you think cannot be true all the time. To know someone what he wants to say and what it means is also important. I was always a furious person until I suffered from health issues and then decided to stay calm and work on this rather than destroying myself. We teach children not to get angry but have you tried teaching them how to reduce anger or how to control it?

Causes of anger

1. Often we feel that there is so much imperfection around us and we try to change that. We are unable to accept this. If someone has done something wrong, our anger arises leaving us confused, and sometimes we regret too but much later.
2. The first thing we need to understand is anger cannot remove those imperfections. Unnecessarily getting angry and throwing up shit to your people will fetch you nothing. We need to accept the situation as it is and try to correct it if possible by staying calm.
3. I agree that it is easy to say than done. It is not at all easy to control our anger and emotions. Dealing with our mind at that point of time is very difficult, and so we can try meditation, breathing techniques can try you calm down for a while. That will help you analyze the situation and will give a better way to solve the issues rather than ruining the whole matter.

How to reduce anger

We very well know that meditation, breathing techniques, proper food, a minimum amount of rest, everything is important but how many of us apply these in real life, maybe only 10%. We need to act on ourselves to stay calm and most importantly let go of the things which are not in our hands. Forgiveness is also another major activity in our life to avoid anger. As I said, the main cause of anger is ego, so why is this ego erupting, just because things are not moving the way you want. You feel you are the boss and you are right always, not letting go of what you think, not letting others keep their word, not ready to compromise or adjust. Your ego becomes more important than the love you have for the other thing or the person. Positive thinking, coping with change, reduce anxiety for every situation will definitely help you reduce anger and you can see things in a different way completely. Maybe you would later even laugh at the fact that being angry was not needed at all.

Look back at every moment when you got angry and think was it really necessary? If you could have stayed calm for that point and thought about getting a solution, things would have been different. You can save your relations, shouting or screaming at top of your voice is not being strong, it shows your weakness and shows that you are guilty of something. I have really worked hard on controlling my anger. It takes a hell of time and dedication but now when I compare myself to past and present of me, I see I am least bothered of what happens around me, yes few things I cannot let go but I do not even get angry, I stay calm, close my eyes and breathe. This helps me get a solution out of the issue that had aroused and it does not affect me mentally or physically either.

Your anger can affect a lot on your relationships too. Have you ever tried to listen to what the other person wants to say or just are you ready to give suggestions and believe that the other will act accordingly? This is when conflicts and anger arise because not everyone is the same or everyone would even like to do what you feel is right as for the other that must be totally rubbish. Why isn’t it possible that the two of you can only discuss the matter and take a middle solution where none of your egos hurt. In one instance the man can stay calm and agree with his wife and later the second time she can do so. It is vice-versa if you really wish to have a peaceful married life. Stop blaming each other for silly things, keep more of communication between the two, have healthy discussions, let go a few things which are as silly. Build your love so strong that there is no space for your ego and then anger itself would vanish.

These little things can really help you get over your anger and always remember forgiveness is the key to control anger. Forgive people for your sake and not them because you need peace of mind. Forgive yourself if you did something wrong, respect yourself and others in order to maintain a healthy life. Minimize the thoughts of holding grudges on people for ages, meet them sort out the issues, and if that does not happen from the other end just walk away with a smile and forget that relation. You did what you had to and you are done now, get over it.

PS: Control your anger as it is just one letter away from “DANGER”