We often believe that the way we have been brought up or the way our childhood has been was the best way or bad way. I believe our generation had received less time from parents or we never gained knowledge on how things are in the outside world. Yes, we were grateful that our parents never compared us with our neighbor’s kids nor we were forced to achieve 100% marks. Still, we feel that something lacked in our childhood. Many of our parents are not educated, nor they have believed in freedom or being broad-minded. Maybe it’s not their fault as they have been brought up the same way still they tried their best to give us good education so that we do not repeat the same mistakes with our children.

Unfortunately, our generation’s parents have become worse than anyone. We are so much into a competition that even if our child gets one mark less it equals to be so shameful that you end up cursing your child for being careless towards everything. Just one question I would like to ask all the parents reading this blog, is it the fault of your child that he has low IQ or he is not able to master in things you wish him to learn? I am very sorry but it isn’t their fault at all, it the way you have been neglecting him/her, it is the way you always felt that he will learn everything by himself and we should only concentrate on our work. I am not criticizing any parent but it is high time you understand how to behave with your own kids. The fact is you want your child to be the smartest of all just because you weren’t in your childhood. You believe in giving them all the luxuries you wished you had in your childhood, it is indeed a good thought but what the words you use, the action you show with your child? Isn’t that important? What will a child do with those luxuries if they do not get the love and affection of their parents? Let’s check on a few mistakes you do by pressurizing your child and taking away their childhood.

• Criticism: Focusing on what your child is doing wrong means you are overlooking what your child is doing right. They are kids after all and are meant to make mistakes. Being elders it is your responsibility to teach them what is right and wrong instead of criticizing them and slapping them hard for doing wrong. It was their first time to what they tried, how would you feel if you are given a project for the first time and you failed to even make a proper presentation, will you like if your manager criticizes you or will you like it if they help you understand the right way of working towards the project? Praise them for at least trying new things and hold their hand if they fall, that is all they need from you, else they will lose their self-confidence. Remember when they grow up they will not think twice before criticizing you for not knowing the latest technologies or any such updates.

• Micromanagement: Parents who are control freaks will hover over their child’s activities like homework, play, and other chores to make sure they are doing it right. It is important to get involved with them and play with them but not to pressurize them for doing it right and just if they go wrong they are being told off by saying “You are dumb”, “You are stupid”, “You have no sense how to do it” and so on. For heaven’s sake it is your child, how can you even call them stupid? If you really want your child to perform well in every activity, let them make mistakes, leave them on their own to learn how to fall and get up. Do not overprotect.

• Competition: If you think that every situation of life is “do-or-die”, you would yourself be in some other position right now. This way you are just forcing your child to do things according to your way and style even if he does not like. You can get an A in all the test, you have to show your best to your sports coach to select you, you need to stay quiet and not make noise that’s not discipline, such messages to your child will only give them the knowledge that they just have one chance in life. Is that so? Do all of us have only one chance in life for everything we do? Then why cannot we become millionaires at the age of 30? Yet, for many parents, it becomes the last test of life for every exam, interview, competition, etc. There are many opportunities and chances in life to shine and the outcome of most events can be altered.

• Comparison: The worst thing for a parent to compare between two children or with anyone else. Every child has his/her own capacity and capability. Just because one is an expert in sports, you cannot compare with the other and pressurize to learn the same sport. He must be great at playing any instrument. Remind yourself if you were the same as your sibling. Why do you immediately consider one as smart and the other as a loser, what impression are you trying to develop about him in his own eyes. Remember the way you speak and act with them, the same way they will consider it to be the right thing. If you keep saying he is a loser and cannot do anything in life, he would start believing the same and will not even try to make his life better thinking that he was and will be a loser always. Be nice to them and encourage them to do good in what they like, not what your dreams are, and that you want them to fulfill your dreams.

• Anger: As I mentioned above, do not expect that your child should fulfill your dreams. Let them create their own dreams and work on it, you can work on your dreams and if you can’t keep it to yourself. Usually when you keep such expectations and if they are not fulfilled, you squeeze your sadness and growing frustration. You tend to beat them, curse them, say whatever comes to your mind, and do not even regret later. If your child is not interested in your dreams it is absolutely okay, do not increase your stress and everyone else’s in the family. Encourage your child to have a goal in life and concentrate on the same. You may even feel better by seeing him grow and excel in life.

                          Your responsibility towards your child is to only teach manners, etiquette, and how to stand up high if you fall. You can hold them and console them saying that it is okay to make mistakes; we can amend and get good results. Give them love and affection. Do not neglect it because you are busy with your meetings and calls. Give them your time, play with them, teach them your generation games, and learn something new from them. All these little things will help them think of a better life and once they look back they would feel happy about recollecting good old childhood memories. Give them their childhood and let them stay a child, let them grow according to their age and not mature them thinking that you are growing old and so he/she should learn everything from now. Laugh with them, let them cry, never leave them alone, don’t break their confidence, don’t break their trust they have for you.

PS: Let them be themselves, instead of stopping them from every single step they take to walk ahead.